The Truth about Friendship

I’ve been thinking a lot these past few weeks, for reasons I care no to relate, about what friendship is, and what it is not.  

So I’m going to give the world my thoughts.

Time does not determine how close two people can be,  best friends or even close friends don’t have to be two people that have known each practically their whole lives. Friendships aren’t determined by equal amounts of money spent on each other, or equal hours spent doing what the other wanted, friendship isn’t keeping score of your rights and their wrongs just waiting to bring it up the next time you argue. It’s not the idea of “oh I came to that thing you wanted me to do like five times and you’ve only come to the things I’ve wanted to do  like once.” 

Friendship isn’t the idea that we have an unequal friendship because I can’t always make it to the things you want to do. 

Friendship doesn’t always mean you’re  talking every day, texting about everything, seeing each constantly, buying each other best friend necklaces, doing everything together, and telling each other everything. 

While most friendships consist of some of these better things like seeing each other constantly, texting each other everything, and buying each other stuff to show affection, that isn't what makes someone a friend. 

In the end your real friends are the people you know you can count on, the ones who’ve seen you at worst and chosen to stay anyway. 

They’re the people who’ll stay up late and text you that it will be okay, you’ll make it through tomorrow. 

They're the ones who maybe you don’t talk to every day or even every week but you still know you can fall back on them when times are rough or you just miss them. 

Friendship is telling the other that you have a issue with the relationship that needs to be resolved, not letting it go unheard and unsaid, harboring bitter feeling against the other until eventually it shatters your friendship.  

Friends know when to give you advice and when to be quiet and give you a hug. 

They’re the people you can just click with, even if you just met them, you feel like you’ve known them longer then you have because you guys already care about each other so much. Friendship is telling them God’s got their back even though they don’t see it. 

It’s trusting them with some of your deepest darkest secrets because you know they’ll be there to help you fight your demons, even if they live in another state or even another country. They do everything they can to let you know you’re loved. 

In any relationship neither person will be giving exactly fifty percent all the time, sometimes it will be less sometimes it will be more, why? Because we’re flawed people and no one can always be perfect in any friendship. 

Friends will realize that the other is human and you will make mistakes and so will they, but that you forgive each other. 

Friendship is being there. Not necessarily physically, because people have limitations, people are busy sometimes and can’t always make it, but emotionally they’re there for you. 

A friend is someone that no matter how long its been since you talked or how far away or close they are to you, they’re going to be there, because they truly care.

It’s not the things we do together that make us friends, we do things together because we are friends. 

Friendship is love, it’s sacrifice, it’s caring about the other, it’s being there for them in whatever capacity you can, phone call or in person, just so they know you’re there. 

It’s trust, encouragement, and understanding.

Not all friendships will be this way, but the closest of friendships should be. 

A friendship framed by the love of Christ...

Let's  all just try and be a little more understanding and loving 

More attractive than appearance

Okay so there are some pretty nice looking people out there in the world. You may be thinking of a celebrity or maybe your crush, or both!
The world seems to be pushing for everyone, girls and guys, to have this "perfect" look. We rate each other "oh you're a ten girl!" or "yeah, I would say a six tops."
I'm sorry, but that's just wrong.
It seems everyone is supposed to be in this overall fit of "hot" and "attractive" and if you don't fit into the world's impossible standard of perfect beauty and ideals for appearance it makes it really easy for self-hate to creep in, and really easy to believe the people who are telling you you're ugly.

Our world is so obsessed with the outward appearance they forget what is really important.
Many people say that they would date someone based on looks alone, which is absurd.
I mean yes we're all attracted to peoples outward appearance first off, but if you're interested, really interested in someone you should be looking at more than that. Not to mention if the only thing you love about your partner is they're looks, there are going to be major problems.
So here are three ideas to me of what should be more important to us than outward appearance. Some of them seem really obvious, but if you think about it there's a lot more to it.

1. Personality- okay, I know this seems like something really obvious, but it's worth stating even if it is obvious. There's so much to people, and what makes them who they are. Same for you.
People can be super extroverted and outgoing around their friends and but quiet and seemingly shy around people they don't know.
Maybe they're an introvert and you rarely hear talk, but they have brilliant ideas and so much love to give.
Maybe they love hugs, maybe they don't. Everyone is different.
How they react to problems, how they treat other people, how they treat their family, the things they think are right and wrong, what they like and what they don't like. Do they have a logic based mind or a more creative one?
optimistic or pessimistic? What are they afraid of?
There's a lot that goes on in a person's mind, and many things that piece together are personalities.
If you pay attention and get to know someone you can tell a lot about them without even asking.

2. Passion for goals and dreams.
Someone who knows what they like and what they want to do, watching them live up to their potential, go for the things they want to achieve and the person they want to be.
Or even if they don't know exactly what they want to do they still have dreams, passions. Maybe it's music, or writing, or helping people in need.
Maybe they want to start a business some day, go into the military, be a youth pastor.
Even if they don't have all the pieces put together(cause I mean really, who does?)
but they're still fallowing their dreams and the talents that God has given them, that is still pretty darn attractive. I don't know, maybe it's just me but watching someone go after their dreams, talk about their plans and passions always makes me smile.

3. Faith
The most important thing someone you like/are dating should have.
I'll just say this now, if he/she is not a believer than back away, now! Don't get emotionally attached to someone who you would be unequally yoked with.
This person should pursue God more than they ever pursue you(same to be said about you)
Them having a personal relationship with God, hearing them sing, and be a true disciple of God should be like the most attractive thing about them.
They won't have it all together(none of us do) but the fact that they're trying is a good start.

1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

This isn't just talking to girls. The overall idea is: don't let your true "attractiveness" come from the outside. 

So see the value in things other than appearance. Look for the good things.
The person you like may not be "hot" in the eyes of the world, but you've seen their personality, their faith, and their dreams, and you think they're cute. So you know what? What the world thinks is irrelevant. :)

Our masks

We all go about lives, day in and day out. Facing problems, overcoming them and moving on. There are the important people in our lives, family and friends, that we see on a weekly or daily basis. We hang out, we laugh, we make jokes, we have a good time. But behind all the good times and laughs, we face trials and battles. Sometimes it can feel like we're the only one who has to deal with this kind of stuff, we're the only ones that understand what we're going through. 

Well here’s the truth about you and all the people around you: 
Everyone you know is battling somthing that you don’t see on their smiling face when they go out every day, when you see them. 
That smiling girl has an abusive dad, that seemingly worriless guy thinks about sucide almost erery day, that girl is bullied, that boy thinks he’ll never be good enough, the last friend you would expect to have depression, does.....and you never noticed. 
She has anxiety, he feels like no one will ever love him. 
Porn, drugs, popularity, stress, bullying, homosexuality, depression, premarital sex, abuse, death, illness, pain, heartbreak....
We all fight a battle, everyone you meet has a story. One from the past, one from the present, and one for the future. 
Why? Because we live in a fallen, broken world full of sin, hate, and pain. 
We all have the masks we wear, smiles we put forward when all we want to do is cry. 
We don’t tell everyone how our world falls apart, how we feel crushed, how we hate ourselves, how we’re abused, how we feel so beat down. And that’s okay, not everyone will understand the demons we fight or the things we have gone through. 
Look in the mirror, you have one of those stories. Those things, deep secrets, problems, struggles, battles that we keep from almost everyone if not everyone. 
We’re all crushed and broken. 
I know this all sounds really morbid, but you know what? It gets better. 
There is a God that died for you and for me so that if we put our trust in Him all these  terrible things that drag us down will one day go away, and one day we will be with God in heaven. 

So always remeber this: Everyone you know had been hurt, is hurting, or will be hurt. Probably all three, probably multiple times. 
So show some of the love that our God did when He died for us. Just because you're dealing with something doesn't mean you can't help someone else.
Smile at people, make sure they know you care, talk(actually have conversation face to face, don't just text), give them a hug. 
Sit with someone you notice sitting alone. Pray for someone you know is going through a hard time. 
It’s a scary world we should all try and make it a little less that way by being kind, and realizing everyone is going through something hard. 

John 15:12 
 "this is my command, that you love one another as I have loved you."